Another reason to switch to Solaris

or even OpenSolaris... This is the only virus you can take by using Solaris. And this is only part of the fun!!!
Yes, the logo is the OpenSolaris new logo. And you can get a free cd too.

Q3 Results: I'm so sad...

Yes, we finally posted a loss in the third quarter of the fiscal year, on account of the weak economy and the subprime crisis. But this is not a consolation at all... Besides that, we are also announcing the firing of 1500 to 2500 people. Well, if we were sure that we are firing the people that is not really working hard or making a difference at Sun, I'd agree, but you all know what I think of that kind of measures (that is the main reason why I left the CEO job). It seems that everybody at the MBA courses gets brainwashed and to the first symptoms of money loss they all apply the same cure: job cutting -really, it doesn't seem so difficult to get an MBA nowadays watching the kind of management CEOs are doing-. If I had done the same, instead of investing in R&D, the company wouldn't even exist today.
The funny thing is that we are loosing just about $34M, it is, what we are paying for MySQL diluted across several quarters, so indeed we are just even at last. Not so bad. The other funny thing is that while all the geographies Sun is present at are profitable (and some like India, China and Eastern Europe countries are very, very profitable), just missing the US target for the quarter has pushed the company to the abyss. So, you know what happens in this case: if we miss the target in the US, we have to fire people all around the World. If it was India, we would just fire people in India and never in the US; the same applies to China, UK, France, and so on: if a GEM does a bad job, they deserve a punishment. It it is the US, the whole company deserves the punishment. Yeah, I'm becoming a fan of that new MBA courses I mentioned before.

But there are some good news. We still have money in the bank, about $2,363M, so we still can buy a couple of MySQLs or so, and even pay the SunRise party this year in Hawaii -I guess there will not be very much people from the States, as you have to sell at least 100% of your target, and then be on the top list to be eligible for the party, so we'll save in hotels and airline tickets-.
Another good piece of news is that we are paying full bonuses for the Q3. Yeah, some people could say that instead of paying bonuses we could not lay-off anybody, but mate, this is not what you learn in modern MBA courses...
Another important thing is relevance. We have gained a lot of relevance, as every analyst was expecting us to provide profits for this quarter, and by not doing so we have provoked a little crash in Wall Street! If we weren't relevant, that would have never happened...

A couple of interesting things to finish: Sun stocks are under $13, so it is your opportunity to invest in Sun (we'll get back to more than $20). And what is more interesting: It is Jonathan who is in charge of this mess, not me, so I still can return to make things work again!!

I'm calling Steve to remember the old times, I guess he brought some European beer form his last trip to Europe. I feel a little depressed today...

We copying Apple?

Come on, people at The Inquirer, are you kidding? Don't you think that we are the originals here and that it is Apple who is copying us? Remember that it was the real Jobso the one who said that "Good Artists copy, Great artist steal.." -Jobso himself stole this words from Picasso-.

By the way, I love the way The Inquirer calls Apple "the fruit themed toy maker". Nice -and accurate in my opinion- description.

Oh, and don't take credit for what they say about the chip market. Intel, you can rest in peace... I mean, you can rest assure we are not a threat. Well, you know what I mean...

Montalvo: Another mark in the gun

Sorry Jobso, you are not the only one acquiring small chip-makers at the Valley lately, we also did our buying, and according to analysts, we did it so well that we underpaid for this little company (don't tell anybody).
If it was a software company I would have asked and prepared a poll to know your opinion, so in case of failure I could always say that people gave me a bad advice, but in the case of iron I don't need anybody's advice, I'm pretty sure of what I'm doing and I always do it right.
Welcome home workers of Montalvo Systems, (if there is anybody left at the company so far...) we'll treat you as you deserve!

Management Excellence

I have a strange feeling lately. I have the rare sensation that there is something in the air (and it is not a Mac), that managers don't tell me the absolute true of what is happening here at Sun (well, I think that taking four flights to go from Las Vegas to San Francisco to make it the "cheapest travel of the world" may give me some clue of what is happening; hitchhiking in this case was a REAL option...). So, I made up my mind and I'm going to spend some time disguised among my people in the company. In this "incognito" I'm going to analyze the management style of my people and how people work at Sun. I think it will be funny :-)
Yeah, it'll be much more funny than this weekend when Hillary took me from Jimmy Carter!
Gosh, we laughed very hard and at last I didn't gave her my donation to her campaign as she was just pleased with my support as a SuperDelegate and some peanuts...

Well, anyhow, I'll go to PA and vote for her again this tuesday, we need her.

Oh, and I'll keep you informed through this blog about my adventures as a regular Sun employee ;-)
By the way, I remind you that I have a mail address (you can see it here in the blog, at the right side) where you can comment management excellence cases, traitor employees or whatever you want to comment about Sun. No disciplinary actions will be taken, I swear.

We are not in financial struggle

There has been recently some false rumors about our financial performance during this third quarter of our fiscal year and about the perspectives of our fourth quarter (that corresponds with the months of April, May and June). I have to say that this is absolutely false, there is no reason to suspect that our systems sales have dropped in the US on account of the economy (the sub-prime crisis, you know), and our health is undoubtedly strong, as you'll see in our results announce next first of May.

It is true that I have been working myself in the forge of the new servers, but it is because of my profound wisdom and because I really like to do real work myself, not because the board said anything about my huge salary and a shortage of money to pay qualified workers. I just enjoy working in the factory like I used to in the old times.

Oh, by the way, a message from our CFO to our beloved employees: We are thinking in changing our internal travel website (currently Amex), for this one: http://www.cheapflights.com/.
Comments are welcome. Oh, and he also reminds me that hitchhiking is an acceptable option for any company travel from now on until new order (fake Lehman said so).

I'm Back...

...so there is no need to worry about my long absence, as the one of my beloved fellow Fake Jonathan that seems to be eternal (he doesn't want to talk about that). Indeed it is plenty justified, and it is not that I've been on holidays, but I've been working very hard to contribute to the comeback of Sun in this thrilling economy we are suffering nowadays. I had to go back to the Sun laboratories to forge myself the latest version of our Niagara II servers, or to be more precise, the UltraSPARC T2 (yes, like Terminator) plus processor, now in two sockets servers.
¿Fujitsu? Yes, they paid us so we allow them to use the processors and so on, so we pretend this is a joint venture and so on (well, I forged the server myself, I wouldn't lie about this..., would I?).