Flash Gordon

Sorry, I was gonna write something funny about the new flash-driven servers we are launching, but I got blinded by the logo...Next time, I'll be back, with a pair of Sunglasses...

Again: HP is NOT buying Sun

Just a while ago Hurd (the CEO of Hurd Practicioners, or HP for most of you), telling me, again, they are not buying us: 'apart from the reasons you say in your blog entry, which are basically true, you forgot to mention that there is no reason to buy something when we'll get it for free if we just wait enough time..." That is what he said. And that he wouldn't hire neither Jonathan nor me in the future.
I'm gonna play some hockey.

HP is NOT buying Sun

I've spent a few days in the Mobile World Congress (I'll talk about Java FX in another post), and just when I got back I had to go to see our friend Hurd (in the picture he is telling me the size of a fish he captured in Ellison's ship, or was he telling me the amount of money they were loosing in the first quarter...?) to sign the agreement by which HP is distributing Solaris in (some of) their Pro-Liant servers (or Pro-Lier servers, as we like to call them at home).
So, many rumors have been spreaded away about HP buying Sun. This is old stuff, they begun when Don Grantham left the company to join HP a while ago, and now are back with this HP agreement.
I'll tell you why HP is not buying Sun:

1. We are not selling Sun (at least not me, and if I was doing it, I wouldn't tell you, I assure you that).
2. HP is not the most voted company to buy Sun according to my poll. If I had to talk to another CEO would be the one from Nestlé (but he is not answering my phone calls...).
3. They spent all the money buying EDS, they have no more cash and no bank is going to give it to them (cause banks is the last place where you can find money now).
4. This is the most important one: there are no synergies at all between both companies:
-They have their own operating system, HP-UX and we have Solaris (ok, they killed HP-UX and now it is a kind of zombie after being revived, so they have no enterprise/Unix-like O.S. at all).
-We have our own line of servers (I know, the CMT would be appealing for a hardware and CPU manufacturer)
-We have our own line of storage (yes, many of our storage is OEM hardware from HP)
-They don't have middleware (we have web server, app. server, identity management, e-mail, and they don't have any of these)
-We don't have consultants (they just bought EDS)
...
...
Maybe THERE ARE synergies after all. Well, I treated Don well when he was at Sun. I think I'm calling him to see how is he doing...

Getting tired of this pic...

Jonathan, seriously, I'm getting tired of the use (better said, the abuse) of this pic... It's about the tenth time you use it to illustrate our financial results (well, your comments about our financial results). At least you could explain what the 'a' and the 'b' mean, and where are we at Sun. And don't let it to our own imagination...

After the huge rise in the price of our shares last week (5.76 in the after hours), I guess this is a much more appropriate picture this time:


And I'm saving this one for the day I can exercise my stock options (it's near, the shares only have to rise to $80):



Well, maybe not so near, Ashok just reminded me that I have to re-calculate my stocks after last year's reverse split. Thanks so much, Ashok, you know how to cheer me up...

New member aboard!

I mean, we have a new member of the board, by appointment of our beloved investors Southeastern Asset Management. Some people have been showing some reluctance to the election of Rahul to the board, as he served in the past in Fannie Mae and Merril Lynch. Hey, what's up to you boys? Everybody has a past, and I'd rather a man with a past than someone with no experience... and Merril Lynch was not that bat at last, they managed to sell it to Bank of America. Maybe we need someone like Rahul... (or maybe not, the shares are going high today!!!).
Anyway, I didn't choose him, it was just a request from Southeastern, so if everything goes wrong, it is not my fault...

Announcing the McNealy Master in Business and Hockey Administration

At last my talent to manage and hire brilliant people has been recognized! Most of the CEOs in the technology companies have been trained by me (somehow). Indeed I only made one single mistake along all those years... Guess who? Well, so I decided to launch a Master in Business and HR administration, where hockey and golf will be two of the compulsory subjects to be studied. Enrollment will be announced soon. Stay tuned.

We are losing but wining...

Yesterday we posted our second quarter results. It seems that we lost $209M, so I went to see my friend Lehman (he insists that he is not one of the brothers, but I'm not so sure now...), so he could explain to me what that meant. Apparently we sold much more than analysts expected, but we still lost money, because we had to include $222M due to 'restructuring expenses'. It is: severance payments.
The math is easy: 222 - 209 = 13. So, by not firing anyone, we could have spent $13M in advertising and we would have finished the quarter in break even (if not selling much more on account on the adverts). Funny. I then asked Lehman what was next, if we should start shooting in our own feet. He's thinking about it and will send me a memo as soon as possible.