Wednesday, November 26, 2008

What happens in Hawaii stays in Hawaii

Well, I know this is not the real saying, but is quite meaningful.
A few weeks from now (that's why I've been so busy, I've been traveling all around the World!), I had to go to Hawaii for the SunRise 2008 event, where we give a reward to our sales team after they met their objectives. Many people was intrigued why Jonathan didn't show up to the SunRise event, and only was 'present' via video conference. Well, there were two major reasons: somebody had to stay at the Sun's Headquarters to announce the Q1 disastrous results, and I was first at the airport to grab the corporate jet (and you don't know how much does Jonathan hate to travel in regular airlines!!). No, now talking seriously, the reason why Jonathan didn't come to the SunRise event was because he didn't fulfill his objectives for the FY'08, so he didn't deserve to go. As I said before, the SunRise is for sales reps that have met or overachieved their objectives, and Jonathan was not the case this year. So,while he was at home announcing the bad results and thinking in firing about 6,000 people, I was in Hawaii with my gorgeous wife, delivering $400 Nokia phones to the 2,000 sales reps attending the event, and bearing the absurd rumour that I'm back to take the reigns of the company (well, I have cash enough to buy the whole company today, so maybe it is not so absurd; anyway, I won't be back while Sun is firing people, so I'll wait at least a few months until the dirty job is done).

I wonder how many people are we letting go to pay the Nokias... Well, it is a problem for Jonathan.

So, after the Hawaii event I went to Las Vegas (you know the saying, what happens in Vegas... this time I didn't bring my wife with me ;-) ), to the Customers Engineering Conference, and again Jonathan only showed up by video conf (yes, again I grabbed the corporate jet before, and besides, he was about to announce the firings, and was a little afraid to be assaulted by the engineers present at the event). Well, to be honest, I only stood at the Paris/Bally's swimming pool and went to the Tom Jones show, so I sent Ashok to mix with the engineers and write an accurate report of the state of the morale and so on. The problem is that Jonathan included Ashok in the list of the 6,000 'riffed' people, so now I have to write the posts in the blog by myself and so on (well, not really, because I'm hiring Ashok again, but this time as a contractor so he'll do the same job, earning a 20% less but costing Sun a 15% more because we have to hire him via a third company, but now is not included in the headcount, so Jonathan and the shareholders are happier).
Well, I'll probably talk about that later, Ashok now works less hours for me, so I can't write as often as I did in the past... now I'm sharing him with another two vicepresidents...

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Jonathan didn't attend either event because the Freetard is afraid of flying...or enclosed spaces...or something like that.
.
And another thing about the Hawaii event, the sales overachievers had had all kinds of "WTF?!?" reactions to Sun's Northern California Freetard issuance of carbon credits to them instead of real bonuses for exceeding their sales targets. Someone needs to get fired over that dumbass decision. It was a real salesforce motivator.

Fake Scott said...

Jonathan didn't appear because he didn't deserve to appear (he hadn't fulfilled his objectives!), and was afraid of the people (he was afraid of the people hitting him, mainly...).
On the other hand, to issue carbon credits is not such a nonsense: if you don't like it, just leave the company (this way we don't have to pay you the severance package, do you get it? Do you volunteer (just send me your SunID)?)

Anonymous said...

Fake Scott,
.
Thanks for the offer to resign, but I'll pass. Continuing to work here is the only way I can partially monetize the worthless stock options and RSU's.
.
This must be pretty exciting for you, I mean, someone actually caring enough to comment on your blog.
.
Later, dude...

Anonymous said...

Oh, and that was probably a smart thing for Jonathan to be concerned about, in Hawaii. Have you been at an employee event with him lately? A lot of golf claps...or no claps. Why do you continue to support him in front of the Board? The Freetard needs to go.

Fake Scott said...

The only reason why I keep supporting him in front of the Board (How do you know I support him at the Board, do you have access to the Board meetings??? Is it you, Greg??) is because this way I am not blamed if things go bad: Jonathan is blamed instead. But this may change in any moment...

You should see my stock options.. still have many at 90$...

Oh, and I always find rewarding and exciting to answer directly to my employees, stockholders and people in general, that is why I started the blog. The reason why there are not so many comments is because most of the people rather to ask by e-mail, but I thank you for commenting in public instead (although you didn't include your SunID...).

Anonymous said...

Am I Greg? C'mon...if I told you, it would take all the fun out of it. Better to keep you guessing who in the room with you is posting on your blog. (If I told you I was Anil, would you fire him, er, me?) And, anyway, remember what happened to poor Dan Lyons when the curtain was pulled back?

And MY Sun ID? Yeah, that's not gonna happen. Thanks for asking, though.

Anonymous said...

BTW, post something newer so we can move this conversation up to more current posting.